8×7=56

January 20, 2021

Do you remember learning your multiplication facts? Maybe that sentence made you laugh and say “ I still don’t know my multiplication facts”! When I was a third-grade teacher  I was a witness and willing participant in my students’ pursuit of conquering their “times tables”. It was so easy for some, and so so hard for many. We always started with the easy ones first. The 1’s, 2’s, 5’s, and 10’s. The 0’s were the best. Then came time to learn the 6’s, 7’s and 8’s. The tricks and strategies to memorize these facts are a little more involved and boy did we get a lot of tears, frustration, and angst over those little buggers. I thought 8×7 would kill a few kids. Practice, Practice, Practice!! was the daily mantra in my classroom. It is also the current battle cry in my life. I am practicing. It isn’t my multiplication facts, (10+ years of teaching that math unit has those pretty cemented in for me) this time I am practicing having faith and peace while living with uncertainty. 

Last week Steve and I heard a teaching by Eric Johnson titled The Genius of God. It was full of so many biblical truths and I was especially tuned into his thoughts about certainty and uncertainty. Below are a few of my favorite quotes from this sermon.

“We love the God of revelation but we struggle with the God of mystery. Most of us like a mystery for a day or a week but when it turns into a season, that is when it gets interesting”.

“In our current day, we are continually losing the battle of certainty and uncertainty is the new norm. It feels a little like stepping into a hallway that doesn’t have a light on. But, not all darkness is evil”. 

“When you read the bible you find that the people had no idea what was happening next, but they knew who they were following. Faith embraces the ambiguity of not knowing where it has been led because it is so in love with who is leading”. (I especially love this one).

There were more nuggets of truth in that message but those were the ones that led me to remember that faith and peace, like those math facts, must be practiced. When I pray for peace that surpasses all understanding or for my faith to increase, I have to be ready and honestly expect my teacher to give me the practice work. Yesterday’s doctor’s appointment felt a little like God flashing me the 8×7 card. Ahhhh that is a hard one! Tumor markers are indeed going up. In fact, we got our biggest jump yet. This first treatment plan seems to be on its way out. I don’t physically feel too much different than I have over the last 6-8 months and for that I am grateful but clearly, something is going on somewhere.  So that is where things stand today. We made a slight tweak at the end of December with the meds I was already on. It is possible that this change may just need more time to kick in. It is uncertain right now and that is ok. What I am certain of is 8×7 is 56 and I am so in love with the one who is leading.

Love,

Jodi