Tightrope Walking

Are you ready for another life analogy? So far I have written about boats, dinosaurs, Christmas lights, battlefields, crystal balls, children’s books, and of course turtles! Well, here goes one that came to me this morning and it fits so well.

 A few days ago, I looked down. This is not a good idea when you are walking on a tightrope and that is exactly what my life with stage 4 cancer feels like. Earlier this week I looked down and I felt the wobble of the rope under my feet. The last two doctor appointments have revealed tumor marker numbers that are on the rise again. When this happens (and it has before) my eyes drop, the winds of “ the treatment plan is failing” start to blow and things get pretty scary pretty quick.  I was sent for scans on Tuesday to see if anything obvious was happening and I am thrilled to report that there are no new bone tumors and none of the major organs in my core have joined the party. PHEW! We still aren’t sure what the tumor markers are up to but for today we celebrate what isn’t happening. 

 While watching our church’s online prayer meeting yesterday, our worship leaders kept repeating the phrase “Lift my eyes! What am I looking at, my problems or my King?” I really felt Jesus saying to me “ Don’t look down while you are walking this tightrope of cancer. Eyes up! Eyes on the King who is on the thrown and in control of everything. Don’t look down my child. Eyes on me. Keep walking slow and steady” Even Jesus references my turtle pace. I love that.  I did some research this morning about learning how to walk a tightrope. I like learning new things. The advice was pretty spot on for living life on this side of Heaven. 

Here is one of the videos and a few quotes that stuck out while I was watching and while I am not a beer drinker, the thought of celebrating a successful rope crossing, was not lost on me 🙂

“Walking free hand means you aren’t going to hold anything in your hand. It is a cooler way and a harder way but you find your balance faster than when you are holding something like a pole”

After hearing that the T-Rex blog post instantly popped into my head. So glad I am daily trying to not hold anything I am not suppose to. It’s a balance thing 🙂

“Don’t look straight down, keep your eyes on the anchor point”

This was yesterday’s conversation with God. I know where my eyes are suppose to be and it isn’t looking down.

“The middle part is the wobbliest part”

We started on this journey almost 31 months ago. It could be the middle. It sure feels wobbly enough sometimes.

“It gets harder before it gets easier”

Can I get an amen!

“No hunching, you want to keep yourself in a line”

You hunch without even realizing it! Strong core muscles that are centered on the line is a big deal for getting successfully down the rope. Those core muscles are faith, trust and peace for me.

I also found this video of walking on a tightrope between mountains. Sure seems like it is full of symbolism as I was listening I kept thinking, yep this is what my life feels like…

Walking a tightrope between mountains

Tightrope – For Steve

If you know my husband, you know that I have a strong steady hand that holds me everyday. As I was googling “tightrope walking”, this song came up. With tears flowing down my cheeks, I dedicate this one to you my love.

I know what my tightrope is. What’s yours? I hope something you read or heard today encourages you to keep your head up, your core tight and to take it one step at a time.

Love to you all,

Jodi